It's Monday...

It’s Monday, how do I know this?

Because I walked into the office this morning with phones ringing off the wall, people lined up out the door, a new lady starting in another agency, and the FAX machine having a nervous breakdown.

All of this all at one time, it never fails Monday always start with a bang around here.

I showed new lady her office and how the phones work, where the bathrooms are, and where the backdoor is in case she needs to flee. I think I scared her…welcome to my world..LOL

I got most of the folks in and out, and at the moment it’s quiet..but I’m not saying that really loud, because the gods will hear me and the madness will start again.

I can’t do anything about the FAX machine…I think I killed it.

I don’t know about anybody else but as a general rule I don’t like Monday’s much…

Gas Problems

I told hubby this morning that he needed to go get gas for me cuz it was raining and I would melt.




He snorted at me and laughed.



I think he was trying to tell me something....but for the life of me I'm not sure what....

The War with the Spider under my desk

I don’t like spiders. It’s a well known fact. People know I freak out over them. Normally I’m a sane person…really I am, fairly easy going…but get a spider around me and the little men with white coats start circling the block.

So when one of the little fuzzy devils dropping from the ceiling on my desk,

Did I panic….

Did I freak out.

Did I try to bash its little head in with my stapler…

Well Yeah!! Dang thing almost gave me a heart attack. I had people coming out of offices left and right to see what in the heck I was doing beating the papers on my desk.

While I was beating my desk senseless it snuck out and ran behind the wall…the little coward. But never fear, I‘m armed with stapler in hand and ready for battle.

My battle with spiders began long ago….they are the only critters besides sheep (long story…I have bad sheep karma) that make me scream like a girl….

My poor hubby is usually my spider killer. He isn’t wild about them either…but it’s either him or me killing them…and I pick him. I’ve woke him up out of dead sleeps thinking I’m being strangled or something to kill one. The night he almost killed himself getting out of the bathtub at my blood curdling scream was a night to remember. He still hasn’t forgiven me for almost making him break his neck. But in my defense I was being attacked. It ran across my foot…and I didn’t know I screamed that loud, I was too busy jumping up and down to notice.

But back to the task at hand, I’m prepared I went out at lunch and bought bug spray (Three cans…I know, I know…overkill…so sue me). I’ve doused my whole office…it smells like crap and I’ve got a buzz going from the fumes, but that little spider is gonna be toast.

My mom...

I called my mom early Sunday. Wanted to make sure she was ok since she's in Louisiana...and Gustav had decided to make it's presence known there. She was fine, the Nursing home where she lives had evacuation plans in place in case they had to leave. So I wasn't too worried.

Mom was in rare form. She won $2.00 playing bingo and was in high spirits. I'm gonna take her to Tunica one day...cuz she's getting to be quite the gambler..

Apparently Gustav wasn't the only excitement there in the last few days...

Let me back up a little to tell you the story…

There is a little man that has taken a shine to my mom, who I’ll call Mr. T. My mom however is not impressed with him…..as a matter of fact the only nice thing I’ve heard her say about Mr. T. is that he’s disgusting and a pain in the ass (her words..not mine).

He has been following her around, and on several occasions has come into her room. Which is a big no-no to my mom….she has threatened to knock him in the head with her phone (again her words) if he comes into her room again.

So cut to a few nights ago….It’s 12:30 at night and my mom is sleeping…she is awakened to someone rubbing her feet….and yes you guessed it….it was Mr. T in his wheelchair at the foot of the bed rubbing my mom’s feet. This is where it gets a little exciting….

Mom says she started screaming bloody murder…telling the SOB (her words again….) to get the hell outta her room. The screaming scared Mr. T. or woke him up out of his love fest with her feet...cuz he is trying his best to get his wheelchair out of the room when mom gets up and grabs the first thing she sees….which was….the flyswatter and starts chasing Mr. T. down the hall beating the hell outta him .…. He’s yelling….Mom is yelling and the nurses….well I’m not sure what the heck they thought. I don't think he knew that his love for feet whould get him in that much trouble..

I couldn’t help but get a mental picture of my mom….all 4 foot nothing of her running after this guys wheelchair and whacking or in this case swatting away at this guy as he tries to get away from her….She doesn't move fast as it is....but I can just see this little man trying to get away from her. I had to hold the phone away because I was laughing so hard when she was telling me this...mom is hard of hearing...thank goodness..or she wouldn't have been happy with me laughing at her.

I’m just glad the phone wasn’t handy…..I’m wondering how much it would cost to bail her out of jail...

Wonder what the headlines in the local paper would read?

Shopping 101

While getting dressed yesterday morning Hubby announced that if I needed anything from the store to let him know because “he was going to town”.

Now normally that doesn’t worry me, but lately, his little shopping sprees have me hopping.

So being the resourceful girl I am *laughs* I decided I would write him a list. I figured with a list we wouldn’t have that many surprises. Right?

So I get my little pen and put down:

Shampoo
Toothpaste (I’ve squeezed till I can’t squeeze anymore)
Bathroom Tissue
And in big bold red letters on the bottom of the list NO Chicken – Were starting to cluck. (I did put a cute little smiley face on there but I figured I got my point across.) : )

So I was pretty confident when I drove home yesterday, I mean he had a list. He knew what we needed, I thought it’s gonna be fine.

He went shopping alright…and was right proud of himself as he showed me what he got.

He came home with 3 bookcases, 2 wall clocks, 2 baseball caps, a gallon of some purple concoction that is bubble bath, body wash and shampoo combined, 4 tubes of toothpaste & 3 gallons of ice cream.

I’m not sure where we’re going to put the bookcases, we’re squeezed in here like sardines now.
The only empty stop is the corner where he demolished his desk, and something tells me 3 bookcases aren’t going to fit in there.

The clocks are nice, but we already have one in every room, except the bathroom. So I guess we’ll have two in there.

Now the baseball caps are cute – One says “Ain’t I cute”….and the other says “Lookin Good”. Not sure what to say about that. LOL

The gallon…Yes you read right, I said Gallon of purple stuff, I guess I was a little sarcastic when I asked if he planned to wash the cats with the stuff too. He thought he made quite the bargain. I am sure he did if he plans to bathe the whole neighborhood.

I can deal with the toothpaste. I did ask what happened to the bathroom tissue, and his reply was he didn’t like how any of them looked. Who knew there was a prerequisite on what it looked like…*rolls eyes*

I don’t think he needs to go back to Wal-Mart anymore, for some reason all those lights gets him too excited..*sighs* I’m stopping on the way to get shampoo, and I’ m hiding it.

But I’m looking on the bright side…we may be squeezed in here like sardines, but we will be eating ice cream.

Not Suzy Homemaker

My hubby has been laid off for the last month or so. While I'm not wild about it, it does have a few advantages.

1. It's nice to have a clean house to come home to.

2. It's also nice to have supper done and ready when I walk in the door. (Most times it is edible...althought his chilli chicken was one for the books..)

While those 2 things are fantastic. There do seem to be a few drawbacks. First of all he has turned his days into a shopping frenzy. I have enough food in the freezer to last out this winter, and most likely a few after that. I do appreciate a bargin as much as the next person, but how may chicken breast can you eat before you start running from chickens?

He has also taken to reorganizing things....I can't find a dang thing in my kitchen anymore...either that or I have to find a ladder to reach things. I do get a tad annoyed when I have to call my hubby or my son to get me a glass out of the cabinet. It's wonderful that he so industrious, but the next time I have to find a step ladder to get a glass out of the cabinet I may get annoyed.

He's decided that our vaccume didn't suck enough, so we are now the proud owners of a new super duper outoftheordinary one...that sucks up everything in site, and looks like something from the moon landing. It has more gadgets and I think even lites up. It looks like it could eat you, so I've stayed away from it for safety reasons.

He didn't like the light in the living room, so we now have this new fangled one, that if you look at it will burn your retina's. It's so bright in my living room, planes could use it to land.

It's too hot in the kitchen to cook....so to solve this he bought a new air conditioner. Now I had been telling him for years that we needed one, but apparently me being hot when I cook isn't an issue....for him...it is....*snorts*

He also decided that he didn't like how the cabinets looked over the new water heater, so to solve that he took the doors off the cabinets. It looks so much better now...*rolls eyes*

Driving home Friday afternoon and I pulled into the drive way to find a pile of wood blocking it. I was a little nervous to go inside to see what I would find. He wanted to remove part of his desk because it was getting in the way. But got just a little carried away...once he started because what was left in the drive way didn't resemble anything like a desk. I didn't ask...I didn't want to know. He did go to Wally World to replace it...I think he shopped in the toy department...but I'm not saying anything.

He tried to put together a book shelf to go with his new fangled desk...that went well..*rolls eyes* after beating and banging on it for a couple hours he decided he broke it. I could have told him that the hour before, but I thought it wise to just keep my mouth shut.

He's going back to Wally World today....I'm kinda wondering what my house is going to look like when I get home.

He's not Suzy Homemaker, but he is trying. I just brought more tylenol...and I'm fine really I am, my eye twitches like that all the time.

When I grow up I wanna be...

A plumber. These folks can set their own hours, work when and if they want to. If they are frustrated they can take it out on poor helpless home owners who have no choice but to grovel at their feet. I’m telling you these guys have it made.

Our water heater died, it drew it's last breath Thursday. Now since I live in the boonies and we only have the pick of a few plumbers, this is where the fun came in. One said he couldn't come out for two weeks...two flippin weeks, the other next Tuesday. We could drown by that time. My poor sweetie was using the shop vac 24/7, and wasn't a happy camper.

But there is a happy ending....

I’m now the proud owner of a new water heater. The old one was so old and rusted out that it couldn’t be saved. My hubby bless his heart stayed up two nights using a shop vac to suck up water and by the second night was in no mood to negotiate with anybody. He told the landlord something had to be done right then…we couldn’t wait till Tuesday. Our landlord came thru with a new one…..and installed it. It looks like some monster out of the black lagoon but it’s in there.

Our old one was cabinet like (have no clue how old it was)…fit right with my cabinets in the kitchen. This one is huge, taller than I am (hey I know at 4' 11" that’s not saying a lot..and no laughter from the peanut gallery) and round, has pipes sticking out all over and blocks part of my cabinets…but hey it’s in there, we have water, and we don’t have a lake in the kitchen…so in my book we’re batting a thousand.

I’ve got three fans going trying to dry out the indoor/outdoor carpet…and maybe in a month or so it might get dry. I have no clue why they put indoor/outdoor carpet in the kitchen but I can tell you it’s a pain in the rear.

The funny part of all this….Sunday afternoon we get a knock on the door….and guess who it is? Mr. Plumber guy stopped to see how we were doing. He still couldn’t do anything till Tuesday…but just wanted to check in with us…sweetie talked to him, I didn’t. I thought it was really nice of him to stop by and to check and make sure we hadn’t drowned or anything. *snorts*