In a Nutshell

I hate Mondays. I especially don't like Monday's when I feel like crap on a cracker. I think it's happened. I think the Hubs has finally gone and done it. I think he has poisoned us all. It hit everyone in the house Saturday, and what ever it is...it makes you pay homage to the porcelain gods all thru out the day. I know... I know.. TMI

Friday, I spent all day in meetings. You know the kind you have every three months, going over the same things you went over the previous three months, and the three months before that....boring. The highlight of Friday was my friends daughter winning a brand spanking new truck!! She was in a contest with 4 other ladies from a local radio show and a car lot here in town. Well can you believe it..she won! How cool is that.

I have a new addiction. I have fell in love with the Charlaine Harris Books based on the new HBO series "True Blood". I ordered the first two Sookie Stackhouse series and got them Friday in the mail. I spent most of all night Friday reading...I couldn't put it down. I finished both books late Saturday night. They are FANTASTIC!!! But I'm a huge fan of anything that has to do with Supernatural or medieval type stuff. So Vampires and faeries are right up my alley. I'm going to order the rest in the series, and can't wait to start reading.

Didn't do much else this weekend. It's been a busy morning here at work. Trying to play catch up from missing a day, and just trying to survive a Monday.

Gettin over the Hump...

It's been a long week, and it's only Wednesday. Spent most of yesterday morning in the dentist office. You know I have a theory...I think all Dental Hygentists are sadist.

I'm serious...they get to inflict pain on victims who pay them to do it. I'm telling you they got a racket going. Have a bad day, well hell we got Jane Doe in the seat lets make her squeel.

Not only did I loose my filling, and had to have a deep root cleaning (sounds fun doesn't it..it wasn't...trust me), they found an abcess in my gums. So I got to spend a lot more time than I thought there yesterday.

I love it when they say...well you know this might hurt a little....while they are digging for oil. When I flinch she says. "Did I hurt you". .....and I'm thinking "Nah lady I just try to jump outta my chair for no reason"....sheesh.

6 Shots, and $580.00 dollars less, I got to go home.

My jaw was hurting, my mouth was numb, and I had a headache when I finally made it to the house. Hubby thought it was funny that I couldn't talk. Said he needed to find out what the dentist used so he could shut me up more often. If I would have been feeling better I would have bite him....

Monday Funny

It's Monday and I thought we could use a laugh...LOL

Quote for the day

"Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit."

This and That

Spent all day Friday in meetings for work. Which is always fun. We got to learn all about sexual harassment, disability protocol, gang violence, and investing your 401K...a well rounded day wouldn't you say...

Hubby is still on a roll with the shopping. I have to be careful if I tell him to buy something. For some reason he thinks he needs to buy enough to last a year, and I don't have a clue as to where to store all his treasures.

The bookshelves are still sitting in boxes, so not sure what's going to happen with those. I'm hoping he gets the hint that we have no room and takes them back to the store, but I'm not that lucky.

He's back to experimental cooking. We may all have ptomaine poisoning before it's over. He fixed bacon chicken the other night. Now I love bacon, and normally when it's wrapped around anything I can eat it. But it does need to be cooked. The chicken was...the bacon...well not so much. He kept asking me if I liked it...and I didn't have to heart to tell him no. I just smiled and nodded...and made sure he couldn't see my eye twitching..LOL

I lost a filling in my tooth Thursday. Lucky me. I tried calling my dentist...and his secretary assured me he couldn't see me for 3 weeks...3 Weeks!!! Told her it was sorta an emergency...when I drink anything I see stars and make squeaky noises...No go...they are sorry for my discomfort. I just feel their love..*snorts* Tried 3 more, and couldn't get in...finally found one that will see me Tuesday..when I told his secretary I was seeing stars and squeaking when I drank anything, it took her ten minutes to stop laughing. I was so glad I could provide her some entertainment. But she did get me in...so she's my kinda woman. Should be fun....if your into pain and hearing people squeak when they suck in air. Fun...Fun...

Captions?

Hey ummmm guys...your making me a little nervous...

It was an accident...honest...

Just gotta move that one card...right there..

I'm not gonna ask..I don't wanna know.....

I love doing these...can you think of any good captions for these???

Happy Hump Day Everybody..

It's Monday...

It’s Monday, how do I know this?

Because I walked into the office this morning with phones ringing off the wall, people lined up out the door, a new lady starting in another agency, and the FAX machine having a nervous breakdown.

All of this all at one time, it never fails Monday always start with a bang around here.

I showed new lady her office and how the phones work, where the bathrooms are, and where the backdoor is in case she needs to flee. I think I scared her…welcome to my world..LOL

I got most of the folks in and out, and at the moment it’s quiet..but I’m not saying that really loud, because the gods will hear me and the madness will start again.

I can’t do anything about the FAX machine…I think I killed it.

I don’t know about anybody else but as a general rule I don’t like Monday’s much…

Gas Problems

I told hubby this morning that he needed to go get gas for me cuz it was raining and I would melt.




He snorted at me and laughed.



I think he was trying to tell me something....but for the life of me I'm not sure what....

The War with the Spider under my desk

I don’t like spiders. It’s a well known fact. People know I freak out over them. Normally I’m a sane person…really I am, fairly easy going…but get a spider around me and the little men with white coats start circling the block.

So when one of the little fuzzy devils dropping from the ceiling on my desk,

Did I panic….

Did I freak out.

Did I try to bash its little head in with my stapler…

Well Yeah!! Dang thing almost gave me a heart attack. I had people coming out of offices left and right to see what in the heck I was doing beating the papers on my desk.

While I was beating my desk senseless it snuck out and ran behind the wall…the little coward. But never fear, I‘m armed with stapler in hand and ready for battle.

My battle with spiders began long ago….they are the only critters besides sheep (long story…I have bad sheep karma) that make me scream like a girl….

My poor hubby is usually my spider killer. He isn’t wild about them either…but it’s either him or me killing them…and I pick him. I’ve woke him up out of dead sleeps thinking I’m being strangled or something to kill one. The night he almost killed himself getting out of the bathtub at my blood curdling scream was a night to remember. He still hasn’t forgiven me for almost making him break his neck. But in my defense I was being attacked. It ran across my foot…and I didn’t know I screamed that loud, I was too busy jumping up and down to notice.

But back to the task at hand, I’m prepared I went out at lunch and bought bug spray (Three cans…I know, I know…overkill…so sue me). I’ve doused my whole office…it smells like crap and I’ve got a buzz going from the fumes, but that little spider is gonna be toast.

My mom...

I called my mom early Sunday. Wanted to make sure she was ok since she's in Louisiana...and Gustav had decided to make it's presence known there. She was fine, the Nursing home where she lives had evacuation plans in place in case they had to leave. So I wasn't too worried.

Mom was in rare form. She won $2.00 playing bingo and was in high spirits. I'm gonna take her to Tunica one day...cuz she's getting to be quite the gambler..

Apparently Gustav wasn't the only excitement there in the last few days...

Let me back up a little to tell you the story…

There is a little man that has taken a shine to my mom, who I’ll call Mr. T. My mom however is not impressed with him…..as a matter of fact the only nice thing I’ve heard her say about Mr. T. is that he’s disgusting and a pain in the ass (her words..not mine).

He has been following her around, and on several occasions has come into her room. Which is a big no-no to my mom….she has threatened to knock him in the head with her phone (again her words) if he comes into her room again.

So cut to a few nights ago….It’s 12:30 at night and my mom is sleeping…she is awakened to someone rubbing her feet….and yes you guessed it….it was Mr. T in his wheelchair at the foot of the bed rubbing my mom’s feet. This is where it gets a little exciting….

Mom says she started screaming bloody murder…telling the SOB (her words again….) to get the hell outta her room. The screaming scared Mr. T. or woke him up out of his love fest with her feet...cuz he is trying his best to get his wheelchair out of the room when mom gets up and grabs the first thing she sees….which was….the flyswatter and starts chasing Mr. T. down the hall beating the hell outta him .…. He’s yelling….Mom is yelling and the nurses….well I’m not sure what the heck they thought. I don't think he knew that his love for feet whould get him in that much trouble..

I couldn’t help but get a mental picture of my mom….all 4 foot nothing of her running after this guys wheelchair and whacking or in this case swatting away at this guy as he tries to get away from her….She doesn't move fast as it is....but I can just see this little man trying to get away from her. I had to hold the phone away because I was laughing so hard when she was telling me this...mom is hard of hearing...thank goodness..or she wouldn't have been happy with me laughing at her.

I’m just glad the phone wasn’t handy…..I’m wondering how much it would cost to bail her out of jail...

Wonder what the headlines in the local paper would read?