Dust in the wind..

It's Thursday...when I woke up this morning I thought it was Friday. So in case anybody is wondering I wasn't too happy to find out I didn't know what day it was...

I had some weird vibes floating around me this week, and I'm not talking funny ha ha...I'm talking just plain weird shit.

My hubby is still looking for work...and so far nada. He's turned into a regular suzi homemaker with tattoos...which is kinda hot. *laughs* He was rather proud of himself last night to show me he filled the freezer, and that he needed to cook. Sometimes he just knocks me out with that crazy smile.

Conversations this week have consisted of my supervisor walking up to me.. (I'm 4'11"...he's 6'2".....and says)

"You see that guy walking out the door"

Me - "Yeah"

Him - "If he walks back in the building and I'm not here...You get him out as quickly and as quietly as you can. Your not to be alone with him....You understand?"

Me - " I understand"

and he walked off. Like I said weird shit..

It's Thursday....I'll be glad for Friday.

You gotta have a sense of humor.

It has been one of those crazy weeks around here.

1. We've had bizarre computer problems. I would love 5 minutes in a room with these Vista People. Cuz I think they were put on the earth to drive us all crazy.

2. Door Talker - We have a client who comes in that has issues. He talks to doors and walls, but never to you or even at you. Which is fine. I can deal with that. I do have a problem because sometimes I don't know if he's talking to me, himself, or see's someone else I don't know about. He freaks people out, so usually I'm the only one he talks to. I let him ramble I figure if it's anything importatant he'll let me know.

3. I know why some animals eat their young. We have had some wild children in here. Which makes your head hurt and my eye start twitching.

4. We almost electrocuted a 10 month old yesterday, we didn't notice him crawling toward the power cord, we were too busy trying to keep his 4 other brothers and sisters from killing each other. The power cord to the laptop was plugged in and he grabbed it and put it to his mouth. It must have given the poor thing quite a little jolt...because he let it go in a hurry.

I'll be glad when Friday gets here. I've had too much fun this week...*rolls eyes*

In a Nutshell

I hate Mondays. I especially don't like Monday's when I feel like crap on a cracker. I think it's happened. I think the Hubs has finally gone and done it. I think he has poisoned us all. It hit everyone in the house Saturday, and what ever it is...it makes you pay homage to the porcelain gods all thru out the day. I know... I know.. TMI

Friday, I spent all day in meetings. You know the kind you have every three months, going over the same things you went over the previous three months, and the three months before that....boring. The highlight of Friday was my friends daughter winning a brand spanking new truck!! She was in a contest with 4 other ladies from a local radio show and a car lot here in town. Well can you believe it..she won! How cool is that.

I have a new addiction. I have fell in love with the Charlaine Harris Books based on the new HBO series "True Blood". I ordered the first two Sookie Stackhouse series and got them Friday in the mail. I spent most of all night Friday reading...I couldn't put it down. I finished both books late Saturday night. They are FANTASTIC!!! But I'm a huge fan of anything that has to do with Supernatural or medieval type stuff. So Vampires and faeries are right up my alley. I'm going to order the rest in the series, and can't wait to start reading.

Didn't do much else this weekend. It's been a busy morning here at work. Trying to play catch up from missing a day, and just trying to survive a Monday.

Gettin over the Hump...

It's been a long week, and it's only Wednesday. Spent most of yesterday morning in the dentist office. You know I have a theory...I think all Dental Hygentists are sadist.

I'm serious...they get to inflict pain on victims who pay them to do it. I'm telling you they got a racket going. Have a bad day, well hell we got Jane Doe in the seat lets make her squeel.

Not only did I loose my filling, and had to have a deep root cleaning (sounds fun doesn't it..it wasn't...trust me), they found an abcess in my gums. So I got to spend a lot more time than I thought there yesterday.

I love it when they say...well you know this might hurt a little....while they are digging for oil. When I flinch she says. "Did I hurt you". .....and I'm thinking "Nah lady I just try to jump outta my chair for no reason"....sheesh.

6 Shots, and $580.00 dollars less, I got to go home.

My jaw was hurting, my mouth was numb, and I had a headache when I finally made it to the house. Hubby thought it was funny that I couldn't talk. Said he needed to find out what the dentist used so he could shut me up more often. If I would have been feeling better I would have bite him....

Monday Funny

It's Monday and I thought we could use a laugh...LOL

Quote for the day

"Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit."

This and That

Spent all day Friday in meetings for work. Which is always fun. We got to learn all about sexual harassment, disability protocol, gang violence, and investing your 401K...a well rounded day wouldn't you say...

Hubby is still on a roll with the shopping. I have to be careful if I tell him to buy something. For some reason he thinks he needs to buy enough to last a year, and I don't have a clue as to where to store all his treasures.

The bookshelves are still sitting in boxes, so not sure what's going to happen with those. I'm hoping he gets the hint that we have no room and takes them back to the store, but I'm not that lucky.

He's back to experimental cooking. We may all have ptomaine poisoning before it's over. He fixed bacon chicken the other night. Now I love bacon, and normally when it's wrapped around anything I can eat it. But it does need to be cooked. The chicken was...the bacon...well not so much. He kept asking me if I liked it...and I didn't have to heart to tell him no. I just smiled and nodded...and made sure he couldn't see my eye twitching..LOL

I lost a filling in my tooth Thursday. Lucky me. I tried calling my dentist...and his secretary assured me he couldn't see me for 3 weeks...3 Weeks!!! Told her it was sorta an emergency...when I drink anything I see stars and make squeaky noises...No go...they are sorry for my discomfort. I just feel their love..*snorts* Tried 3 more, and couldn't get in...finally found one that will see me Tuesday..when I told his secretary I was seeing stars and squeaking when I drank anything, it took her ten minutes to stop laughing. I was so glad I could provide her some entertainment. But she did get me in...so she's my kinda woman. Should be fun....if your into pain and hearing people squeak when they suck in air. Fun...Fun...

Captions?

Hey ummmm guys...your making me a little nervous...

It was an accident...honest...

Just gotta move that one card...right there..

I'm not gonna ask..I don't wanna know.....

I love doing these...can you think of any good captions for these???

Happy Hump Day Everybody..

It's Monday...

It’s Monday, how do I know this?

Because I walked into the office this morning with phones ringing off the wall, people lined up out the door, a new lady starting in another agency, and the FAX machine having a nervous breakdown.

All of this all at one time, it never fails Monday always start with a bang around here.

I showed new lady her office and how the phones work, where the bathrooms are, and where the backdoor is in case she needs to flee. I think I scared her…welcome to my world..LOL

I got most of the folks in and out, and at the moment it’s quiet..but I’m not saying that really loud, because the gods will hear me and the madness will start again.

I can’t do anything about the FAX machine…I think I killed it.

I don’t know about anybody else but as a general rule I don’t like Monday’s much…

Gas Problems

I told hubby this morning that he needed to go get gas for me cuz it was raining and I would melt.




He snorted at me and laughed.



I think he was trying to tell me something....but for the life of me I'm not sure what....

The War with the Spider under my desk

I don’t like spiders. It’s a well known fact. People know I freak out over them. Normally I’m a sane person…really I am, fairly easy going…but get a spider around me and the little men with white coats start circling the block.

So when one of the little fuzzy devils dropping from the ceiling on my desk,

Did I panic….

Did I freak out.

Did I try to bash its little head in with my stapler…

Well Yeah!! Dang thing almost gave me a heart attack. I had people coming out of offices left and right to see what in the heck I was doing beating the papers on my desk.

While I was beating my desk senseless it snuck out and ran behind the wall…the little coward. But never fear, I‘m armed with stapler in hand and ready for battle.

My battle with spiders began long ago….they are the only critters besides sheep (long story…I have bad sheep karma) that make me scream like a girl….

My poor hubby is usually my spider killer. He isn’t wild about them either…but it’s either him or me killing them…and I pick him. I’ve woke him up out of dead sleeps thinking I’m being strangled or something to kill one. The night he almost killed himself getting out of the bathtub at my blood curdling scream was a night to remember. He still hasn’t forgiven me for almost making him break his neck. But in my defense I was being attacked. It ran across my foot…and I didn’t know I screamed that loud, I was too busy jumping up and down to notice.

But back to the task at hand, I’m prepared I went out at lunch and bought bug spray (Three cans…I know, I know…overkill…so sue me). I’ve doused my whole office…it smells like crap and I’ve got a buzz going from the fumes, but that little spider is gonna be toast.

My mom...

I called my mom early Sunday. Wanted to make sure she was ok since she's in Louisiana...and Gustav had decided to make it's presence known there. She was fine, the Nursing home where she lives had evacuation plans in place in case they had to leave. So I wasn't too worried.

Mom was in rare form. She won $2.00 playing bingo and was in high spirits. I'm gonna take her to Tunica one day...cuz she's getting to be quite the gambler..

Apparently Gustav wasn't the only excitement there in the last few days...

Let me back up a little to tell you the story…

There is a little man that has taken a shine to my mom, who I’ll call Mr. T. My mom however is not impressed with him…..as a matter of fact the only nice thing I’ve heard her say about Mr. T. is that he’s disgusting and a pain in the ass (her words..not mine).

He has been following her around, and on several occasions has come into her room. Which is a big no-no to my mom….she has threatened to knock him in the head with her phone (again her words) if he comes into her room again.

So cut to a few nights ago….It’s 12:30 at night and my mom is sleeping…she is awakened to someone rubbing her feet….and yes you guessed it….it was Mr. T in his wheelchair at the foot of the bed rubbing my mom’s feet. This is where it gets a little exciting….

Mom says she started screaming bloody murder…telling the SOB (her words again….) to get the hell outta her room. The screaming scared Mr. T. or woke him up out of his love fest with her feet...cuz he is trying his best to get his wheelchair out of the room when mom gets up and grabs the first thing she sees….which was….the flyswatter and starts chasing Mr. T. down the hall beating the hell outta him .…. He’s yelling….Mom is yelling and the nurses….well I’m not sure what the heck they thought. I don't think he knew that his love for feet whould get him in that much trouble..

I couldn’t help but get a mental picture of my mom….all 4 foot nothing of her running after this guys wheelchair and whacking or in this case swatting away at this guy as he tries to get away from her….She doesn't move fast as it is....but I can just see this little man trying to get away from her. I had to hold the phone away because I was laughing so hard when she was telling me this...mom is hard of hearing...thank goodness..or she wouldn't have been happy with me laughing at her.

I’m just glad the phone wasn’t handy…..I’m wondering how much it would cost to bail her out of jail...

Wonder what the headlines in the local paper would read?

Shopping 101

While getting dressed yesterday morning Hubby announced that if I needed anything from the store to let him know because “he was going to town”.

Now normally that doesn’t worry me, but lately, his little shopping sprees have me hopping.

So being the resourceful girl I am *laughs* I decided I would write him a list. I figured with a list we wouldn’t have that many surprises. Right?

So I get my little pen and put down:

Shampoo
Toothpaste (I’ve squeezed till I can’t squeeze anymore)
Bathroom Tissue
And in big bold red letters on the bottom of the list NO Chicken – Were starting to cluck. (I did put a cute little smiley face on there but I figured I got my point across.) : )

So I was pretty confident when I drove home yesterday, I mean he had a list. He knew what we needed, I thought it’s gonna be fine.

He went shopping alright…and was right proud of himself as he showed me what he got.

He came home with 3 bookcases, 2 wall clocks, 2 baseball caps, a gallon of some purple concoction that is bubble bath, body wash and shampoo combined, 4 tubes of toothpaste & 3 gallons of ice cream.

I’m not sure where we’re going to put the bookcases, we’re squeezed in here like sardines now.
The only empty stop is the corner where he demolished his desk, and something tells me 3 bookcases aren’t going to fit in there.

The clocks are nice, but we already have one in every room, except the bathroom. So I guess we’ll have two in there.

Now the baseball caps are cute – One says “Ain’t I cute”….and the other says “Lookin Good”. Not sure what to say about that. LOL

The gallon…Yes you read right, I said Gallon of purple stuff, I guess I was a little sarcastic when I asked if he planned to wash the cats with the stuff too. He thought he made quite the bargain. I am sure he did if he plans to bathe the whole neighborhood.

I can deal with the toothpaste. I did ask what happened to the bathroom tissue, and his reply was he didn’t like how any of them looked. Who knew there was a prerequisite on what it looked like…*rolls eyes*

I don’t think he needs to go back to Wal-Mart anymore, for some reason all those lights gets him too excited..*sighs* I’m stopping on the way to get shampoo, and I’ m hiding it.

But I’m looking on the bright side…we may be squeezed in here like sardines, but we will be eating ice cream.

Not Suzy Homemaker

My hubby has been laid off for the last month or so. While I'm not wild about it, it does have a few advantages.

1. It's nice to have a clean house to come home to.

2. It's also nice to have supper done and ready when I walk in the door. (Most times it is edible...althought his chilli chicken was one for the books..)

While those 2 things are fantastic. There do seem to be a few drawbacks. First of all he has turned his days into a shopping frenzy. I have enough food in the freezer to last out this winter, and most likely a few after that. I do appreciate a bargin as much as the next person, but how may chicken breast can you eat before you start running from chickens?

He has also taken to reorganizing things....I can't find a dang thing in my kitchen anymore...either that or I have to find a ladder to reach things. I do get a tad annoyed when I have to call my hubby or my son to get me a glass out of the cabinet. It's wonderful that he so industrious, but the next time I have to find a step ladder to get a glass out of the cabinet I may get annoyed.

He's decided that our vaccume didn't suck enough, so we are now the proud owners of a new super duper outoftheordinary one...that sucks up everything in site, and looks like something from the moon landing. It has more gadgets and I think even lites up. It looks like it could eat you, so I've stayed away from it for safety reasons.

He didn't like the light in the living room, so we now have this new fangled one, that if you look at it will burn your retina's. It's so bright in my living room, planes could use it to land.

It's too hot in the kitchen to cook....so to solve this he bought a new air conditioner. Now I had been telling him for years that we needed one, but apparently me being hot when I cook isn't an issue....for him...it is....*snorts*

He also decided that he didn't like how the cabinets looked over the new water heater, so to solve that he took the doors off the cabinets. It looks so much better now...*rolls eyes*

Driving home Friday afternoon and I pulled into the drive way to find a pile of wood blocking it. I was a little nervous to go inside to see what I would find. He wanted to remove part of his desk because it was getting in the way. But got just a little carried away...once he started because what was left in the drive way didn't resemble anything like a desk. I didn't ask...I didn't want to know. He did go to Wally World to replace it...I think he shopped in the toy department...but I'm not saying anything.

He tried to put together a book shelf to go with his new fangled desk...that went well..*rolls eyes* after beating and banging on it for a couple hours he decided he broke it. I could have told him that the hour before, but I thought it wise to just keep my mouth shut.

He's going back to Wally World today....I'm kinda wondering what my house is going to look like when I get home.

He's not Suzy Homemaker, but he is trying. I just brought more tylenol...and I'm fine really I am, my eye twitches like that all the time.

When I grow up I wanna be...

A plumber. These folks can set their own hours, work when and if they want to. If they are frustrated they can take it out on poor helpless home owners who have no choice but to grovel at their feet. I’m telling you these guys have it made.

Our water heater died, it drew it's last breath Thursday. Now since I live in the boonies and we only have the pick of a few plumbers, this is where the fun came in. One said he couldn't come out for two weeks...two flippin weeks, the other next Tuesday. We could drown by that time. My poor sweetie was using the shop vac 24/7, and wasn't a happy camper.

But there is a happy ending....

I’m now the proud owner of a new water heater. The old one was so old and rusted out that it couldn’t be saved. My hubby bless his heart stayed up two nights using a shop vac to suck up water and by the second night was in no mood to negotiate with anybody. He told the landlord something had to be done right then…we couldn’t wait till Tuesday. Our landlord came thru with a new one…..and installed it. It looks like some monster out of the black lagoon but it’s in there.

Our old one was cabinet like (have no clue how old it was)…fit right with my cabinets in the kitchen. This one is huge, taller than I am (hey I know at 4' 11" that’s not saying a lot..and no laughter from the peanut gallery) and round, has pipes sticking out all over and blocks part of my cabinets…but hey it’s in there, we have water, and we don’t have a lake in the kitchen…so in my book we’re batting a thousand.

I’ve got three fans going trying to dry out the indoor/outdoor carpet…and maybe in a month or so it might get dry. I have no clue why they put indoor/outdoor carpet in the kitchen but I can tell you it’s a pain in the rear.

The funny part of all this….Sunday afternoon we get a knock on the door….and guess who it is? Mr. Plumber guy stopped to see how we were doing. He still couldn’t do anything till Tuesday…but just wanted to check in with us…sweetie talked to him, I didn’t. I thought it was really nice of him to stop by and to check and make sure we hadn’t drowned or anything. *snorts*

School's Started

How do I know this. I guess the fact that I got behind about a zillion school buses on the way to work is one guess. The next would be I made the mistake of going to Wal-mart Monday and half the civilized world and their children were running amuck in there. Good lord what a madhouse. Parent's trying to corral children, kids running up and down the isle throwing things in buggys. Babies in tow screaming and trying to get out and play. Had me so frazzled I forgot what the heck I was even there for. One poor guy was standing in one of the isle saying over and over again...I'll never do this again...I'll never do this again.....he has this glazed look in his eyes and I was going to ask if he was ok...but I thought better just let him melt down on his own....

One of our clients came in Monday and she had been crying, and when I asked what was wrong she said she had just left her little girl ...she started Kindergarden. I know that's hard...I always hated that first day of school. Just the thought of letting someone else have control I guess. I had to laugh because she has like 5 kids, and said she was so excited at first that she would have some free time for herself. She said her daughter did fine...waved goodbye and took off....she on the other hand spent an hour in front of the school crying. The joys of mommyhood. One of the other ladies that was in the office at the time, said she was so happy to get her kids out the door she woke up at 4:00am. *laughs* she has 7...and I don't think I blame her, I think I'd be doing cartwheels..

Southern Mornings

My first post here, not sure how interesting it's going to be but this is my life.

Out the door by 6:50 this morning for work. I live out in the boonies so I have at least an hour's drive to and from work. It isn't that bad, mostly on country roads from one small town to another...if you can call them towns. Blink and you miss most of them, I think one has a post office so you can actually call that a town... right? I don't have to deal with bumper to bumper traffic, I get to deal with log trucks or Amish folks and their buggies. This morning no log trucks and the only Amish I saw were two little Amish girls feeding their goats. Mr. Billy had one of the girls dresses and the other was trying really hard to rescue her sister. I'm not sure who won that tug of war.

A Hawk swooped down as I rounded a curve and got his breakfast. It looked to be a black snake, it was an impressive site to see him land and fly back up to the sky. I'm sure the snake wasn't as impressed as I was.

I didn't see any deer this morning, It's been too hot for them I think. Although this morning it was in the 60's which is really a nice break from the 90+ temps we've been having. We finally got some rain yesterday..so maybe my front yard won't look so brown anymore. I'm not holding my breath on that one tho.

I'm still trying to figure out this site, but work is calling. Happy Friday.